full of life

lol... i found it very amusing when my sis told me her friend whom i also know commented that my blog is so full of life. funny thing is, i've always thought my blog's boring.. well, that comment has spurred me on to ramble on about my life!!!! lol... (bet that friend's wondering what she got herself into!) ;D

whew... finally some time to sit in front of my laptop. I have touched my laptop since 12 Aug... That's like almost two weeks! amazing isn't it? been too busy... after tuition/tennis/meeting xiang etcetcetc, when i get home i just want to shower, zone out in front of the telly for a bit then i'm off to bed! of cos there's been my aunt staying in my room too... in fact all my recent 3 blog entries were all done before 8.30am cos that's when i'm done with my quiet time and have some time to while away before work officially starts. yupyup! so it's quite a change to finally be looking at my laptop screen again.

looking back, i used to be glued to my computer... used to e-mail/yahoo games/msn/icq/irc/alamak chat (my my that was eons ago!) soooooooo much... in fact was hooked onto mudding for a bit abt one two years ago cos xiang was into it... then the server we were playing on changed the whole thing and the wizards made such dumb rules that it was no longer worth playing. anyway, that's besides the point. point is i no longer feel the need to come online! hence, it can be quite a challenge to get certain church things done... =( feel rather irresponsible at times... ok.. all the time... it's like i haven't even typed out my minutes for my last church board meeting and that was almost a month ago that we met... i have yet to settle an issue delegated to me by the board... two issues.. err three issues actually... this is gonna be the last sunday of aug and i have yet to get my worship roster out for the team... sigh! will be doing it tonight. in fact i've opened word, but i got sidetracked by my routine surf thru my friends' blogs... tsk tsk... bad emay!

hmm... i know i'm getting older when i now

1. eat spring onions!
   
2. no longer feel the need to turn my comp on
3. get cramps in my legs sooooo terribly easily
4. can't wear high heels and run about anymore... in fact i don't even wear high heels anymore!
   
5. can't be bothered to dress up to go out... go for comfort more than the look these days... very rarely do i dress up... soon i'm going to be a frump!
   
6. keep reflecting on my school years and it seems so far away!
7. think of teenagers as 'sooo young!'
8. drink chinese tea
9. get referred to as auntie when in the public... like some mums ask their kids to wave goodbye to 'auntie'! lol...
   

actually i have no problems with aging (and all those past forty look at me with 'i don't believe you looks') truly... it's all a part of life... i have no qualms of telling people my age.. tho most ladies i know find it such a pain to be asked their age.. but what's there to hide? =)

alrightey, i thank God for

1. being able to come back right after work today!!!!!!!!!!!
   
2. the yummy durian (much to my sister's disgust and disapproval) that my daddy bought
   
3. Creation. Do u know how amazing God is? Go study your respiratory/circulatory/muscular/skeletal systems! was reminded of it while teaching my kid (ok Yu Lian my tuition student - my sis says i never ever name the poor fella... and he's always just 'my tuition kid' or 'him') science on wed in preparation for his CA2. i say this because he actually told me that the lungs pump out blood with carbon dioxide to the heart... so i told him that if he had done the design of the human systems, we'd all be dead!
   
4. lunch with my hearing and speech-impaired colleague today... miss lunching with her.. haven't eaten with her for several months now. think she missed it too cos her sign language was incredibly fast today! lol... but hey i still managed to catch what she was saying! =) but i've forgotten so many words already... must brush up again!
   
5. the weekend! it's here! woohoo!
   

ok... enough said for tonight or i'll never get round to completing my church stuff. in fact i'm already feeling sleepy and am seriously contemplating going to bed and doing my stuff tom!!!! i'm horrible! just horrible!!!!! bleah! =P

Blessings

I thank God for

1. Life
2. My family
3. Xiang
4. His Word and the guidance it has given me
5. My MG gang of four
6. My church
7. My cell group
8. My worship ministry members
9. My work
10. My colleagues
11. His provision
12. The opportunity to go on a short mission trip sorta thingy in Oct
13. The ease at applying leave to go for the mission trip
14. A wonderful team leader!!!!
15. Having completed my tuition sessions for Aug
16. The new acquaintances i've made at my tennis lessons
17. Keeping me in good health despite many around me falling sick
18. The ability to bless others with what I have
19. Xiang suggesting that i drink 100plus before my badminton games as it has really helped stopped my leg cramps while i play
20. A non-disastrous hair-cut... lol
21. A rest day from activity tomorrow after work
22. Letting me book the badminton courts with such ease on Tue - it's never happened before that i got the courts all booked and paid for before 7.10am! it was a miracle! =)
23. My auntie who has just returned to NZ She's probably my closest aunt as i'm not at all close to any of my aunts on my mum's side. This auntie's my daddy's only sister. Poor dear was crying at the airport on Tuesday. We can only thank God that it's just several hours by air to reach NZ if necessary.

=) blessed

Tennis Lesson No. 2!

Survived my 2nd tennis lesson. Lol... It was fun. Had a mini competition at the end of the lesson. We were broken into 2 groups of four, so we had to stand in a single file on opposite baselines. Then the coach would feed to ball to one end, and everyone gets to take one shot. If the other group hits it out, or fails to hit it, we gain a point and vice versa. It was fun... so like four of us were lining up and giggling like little children. Cos after u make ur hit, u must siam! for the next person to go. so funny... loved it. my team won after many service points! so funny... it was great... =)

my aunt's coming to stay in my place today till she leaves for new zealand next tue. so it's sleep on the floor for me... lol... no really! will have a mattress and will either be in the hall or in my parents' room. macham small girl! but no choice. nvm... guess it's only a week... so don't be surprised if i'm sleepy most of the time cos my comfy mattress will be in my room! oh yes, she's taking my room. my poor darling of parents helped clear out my room until i barely recognise it anymore. i mean i packed it up already, but they kinda emptied my room. lol... dumped a whole bunch of my things in the store room. i was like 'errr... where's all my stuff?' ah well, guess they want my aunt to be without reason for complaint and to have a nice time in my room. it's good that i seldom use my comp at home these days.

got a busy week ahead of me. today's tuition after work, tom's swimming with xiang, thu's tuition again, fri i'm meeting a jc classmate for dinner, sat morning will be usual marketing routine, followed by tuition at 2.30pm, then i'm taking my aunt out for dinner, sunday it's service, then as a church we're watching a show on the massacre of 5 missionaries by a tribe which later came to know the Lord cos one of the missionaries' child went back to the land to reach this unreached tribe. after which the usual bunch will troop down to clementi for another round of badminton. =) monday's tennis again... then the busy schedule will take a lull for a while... err.. actually just one day, cos wed i've got another dinner appt. lol... yes me busybusybusy... did u feel tired just reading about what i have to do? lol... btw i wake up at 5.30am every weekday morning and by 7.15am on sat and on sundays when i've got nothing on in worship, i can sleep till as late as 7.45am! lol.... so now that explains why i can't stay up late like most people my age. hmm.. most people i know are night owls... guess i'm just the oddball in the group. lol... =D

badminton, cell group and bbq

morning... yesterday was fun! it's been such a long time since I last played badminton... like a month. so long that i almost forgot what to pack for the session. i had to take out my list and kept checking to see if i had left anything out. in the end i did. I forgot my water bottle. sigh... today i forgot my water bottle too! sigh... got tennis tonight, nvm i guess... can always go buy a cheap bottle of ice mountain from the provision shop.

anyway, it was great yesterday cos there were only supposed to be 6 people, and we actually had two courts for the first hour and 1 for the second. but in the end, 8 came... so we got nice matches during the first hour and after that some rest time since there was only one court left. but still very fun... glad i haven't completely forgotten how to play. but my gauging of the shots has deteriorated! lol.. nvm... good thing is to have fun. today my switch my mind to tennis. the two have such different shots. in fact so diff till i seriously considered yesterday being my last day of badminton with my cell... *gasp*... lol... but after the session, i realised how great the bonding and fellowship was and i knew i'm never gonna be a fantastic tennis player anyways... so might as well as play both... heehee... after the workout on the courts we proceeded to kfc for a sinful dinner! nice cheerful banter... with mervin feeling sudden connections! *shiver*... with duckie's aluminim ehblublublehhhh... with our enthusiastic discussion about holding a bbq! and yes a date's been fixed! 15 sep!

cheche and eliza please keep 15 sep, Fri evening free cos we're having a bbq at yixiang's place! yummy yummy yummy! good ole bbq food! yumyumyum...

cell group was good too... it's been three sundays without cell so it was nice to finally have cell again. =)

i thank God for...

1. a fantastic time of bonding and fellowship over badminton and kfc yesterday
2. having my whole cell during cg with corny jokes like the very first 'captive audience' and having 'cell' group...
3. letting us arrange for a bbq!!!!!!!
4. uncle eng lim who was able to come for service yesterday after being overseas for quite a while
5. my new penguin water dispenser! it makes drinking water so much more fun in office and of cos i thank God for the one who gave it to me! ;)
6. mummy... who packed my lunch box for me today as i didn't have time for breakfast this morning. was busy clearing my room cos my aunt from nz will be coming over to stay tom and she's taking my room.
7. such a nice new blogskin! i like it so much better than my old pink one... was getting very tired of all that pink.. lol...

alrightey, gonna be 8.30am soon. time to start work.. have a blessed day all! =)

Bowling

Today I went bowling... after more than 3 years... that is with my own gear... yes i have my own bowling gear. i've got two bowling balls, shoes, hand guard, powder ball (for drying hands), a little compartmentalised translucent box for my finger tape and a rollable bowling bag that can hold two balls. hey what do u expect? i was in the bowling team in jc mah...

anyway, went bowling a couple of times in the last three years but never with my gear. i guess it's a little odd cos the friends i go with now aren't really bowlers. so macham i wanna act seh or something. so i usually opt not to lug my gear around. plus if bring all the gear, then in the end get some pathetic 60 points or something so malu!!!!

lol... thankfully all three games today were above 100... and it gradually got better too... not great but not cringeworthy either i guess. satisfied considering my hiatus from serious bowling.

it's great fun.. xiang was sweet enough to accompany me even tho he's not really into it. the last time we went about two three weeks back he had a sudden spur of brilliance and hit amazing scores of above 160 and 140... think he mentioned it was his highest ever. very good for a non-bowler... even at my peak i never got a regular average of 160 i think...hmm... don't really rem... maybe i did... hmm... dunno...

well, i signed up for the starbowl membership which lets me get games at $3 instead of $3.90... we played five games today... so about 25 more games to make my membership worth it... lol... good thing is that whoever's with me up to 10 pple they all get to pay $3 too... bowling anyone?

seem to be in the mood of continuing past interested... first tennis.. now bowling.. on the domestic side, been learning how to wash out raw meats and stuff... next step, learning how to cook chinese dishes... lol...

lately i've also been into learning mandarin. lol... yes u read it right. i've decided that it's terrible of me a chinese not to know chinese well. yes i'm pretty kantang... so sad hor? anyway, been doing my xi3 zhi4 in those chinese exercise books with squares and all! lol... and getting xiang and my family to give me chinese spelling. really got to expand my vocab! but it's so daunting... there's just sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo many words in the chinese language! ah well, bit by bit... just started about a week back only... so just taking my time. been trying to read my paper as well. that free chinese newspaper. but i'm so lousy that i take ages just to read one article... never mind... slowly! bit by bit!

heehee... anyway i thank God for:

1. the fine weather on tue 8/8 cos it allowed me and xiang to have a lovely time at the zoo
2. letting us see so many animals.. as in at the moments we walked to the enclosure many of them chose to appear near the glass like the leopard and the polar bear... oh and the baby dugong! he was so sweet... hmm... not sure if it's a boy tho... anyway it was only a month old! very cute! it's on my phone now... ask to see it if you meet me... lol...
   
3. a nice ending to the day cos we chanced upon the fireworks display... it was really really breath-taking... lovely way to end our 3rd year celebration
4. giving me the chance to take up both tennis and bowling again
5. my sunday school girls.. am going to miss teaching them. these next three weeks will be my last weeks with them cos my rotation is a quarterly one, so it's my last quarter with them and next year two of them would have moved on to sec 1... sniffle! so sad...
6. my cell... we're finally going to have cell tom! woohoo! miss having cell... church doesn't seem the same without it
7. helping me have more patience during my tuition sessions... his CA2 is in a week and a half!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! yuckyuckyuck
8. having xiang agree to go swimming with me! yay.... heehee... one more past interest... heehee... used to go swimming every week when i was in primary sch... miss those days...
   

already... off to bed now... sleepy! hope i don't ache tom... still have badminton with the cell.. then on monday it's tennis time again!!! maybe wednesday i'll go bowl... lol... see how... funfunfun!

Farewell

August 9th, when a large number of people were celebrating our nation’s 41st year of independence, I sat with two close friends at a restaurant having dinner. There was no mood for festivities as we’d just gone to our teacher’s funeral wake.

Tuesday morning a sms from one of my friends threw my whole day off balance. It simply told me that my chemistry teacher from secondary school has passed away. I rushed out of my room to check the obituary and I saw her face. I stood there stunned for it seemed so unreal how someone who was so real to me, was suddenly no longer here on this earth.

For those who know me, Tuesday was a special day as it was my 3rd year since I got together with xiang. We had planned an elaborate day of activities. It was however marred by this news. As hard as I tried, as we walked from enclosure to enclosure at the zoo, I found my mind wandering.. remembering…

My friends and I arranged to pay our last respects on 9th August. So all of us, somberly clothed in dark tops, walked slowly to the church where she lay. As we stood there, looking at her for one last time, her appearance was a shock to us all, for she had become so puffy from steroids that she did not bear any resemblance to when we last saw her in school. Her once small petite frame was now bloated. Her once immaculate hairstyle was gone, in its place a pretty scarf wrapped round her head to hide the side effects of chemotherapy.

One of my friends began to weep. I felt tears welling up but decided to hold them in, for as we know, the wake is for the living, and there were all her sisters, already saddened by her parting, they didn’t need an ex-student bawling to worsen their pain, their loss. As i stood there, looking at her, I remembered how she used to be so full of life and yet, now she's no more but a shell.

Flashes of her kept coming to my mind, and as we sat round with one of her sisters who looked so uncannily like her, I forced myself to remember the good times and the moments that we had the privilege of being her students. Recounting the memories brought laughter and smiles, but deep down we all knew it was simply to mask the pain that all of us felt in varying degrees at losing her. Hearing the accounts from her sister tore at my heart to know even in her pain and suffering she kept thinking of others first. She chose to remain on steroids as it helped stop her fits. She did this so that her family wouldn't panic each time she had a fit. She took the effort and care to look presentable when her sister flew back from australia to visit so that they will not have to see her in a sickly state. The outfit she nominated to be dressed in was red and pink, but alas they could not use it as the steroids had caused her to become too bloated. I guess that's the way she wanted people to remember her, that she was full of life, full of colour and that was just so her to still be thinking of others even when she was so ill.

She was a terribly strict, meticulous and fierce teacher who scared us senseless initially. Everyone entered her lessons with a sense of fear as one never knew what to expect. I remember the very first lesson she had with my class, she made a classmate cry. Her anger was one that no one wanted to unleash. And yet beneath all that, we knew that she was a dedicated teacher who put in so much effort and time into helping us grasp Chemistry. By our second year with her, no matter how rebellious, sloppy or lazy one was, chemistry lessons were in a different league altogether. One was always prepared for her lessons, lab sessions etc. In fact she was so strict during lab that the real o level chemistry lab exam was such a breeze without any stress. I remember her tottering around during our chemistry lab exam to assure us that she was there, to assure us that we had nothing to worry about and to just do our titration just as she had taught us so methodically. Gone was the formidable stance she took as a teacher, in its place was a look of encouragement from mentor to student.

The memories that she’s left me with are far more than any other teacher I’ve ever had during the course of my school years. The lessons she imparted were more than simply chemistry terms, definitions and processes. She taught me that in life we are to be humble, to be good, to think for others, to be selfless, to know that liking someone of the same gender is wrong, to be lady-like and even in her death, she has taught me to treasure and appreciate people around me.

As I reflect, I thank God that I was able to make her a teacher’s day card that expressed my gratitude for all that she had done for me. I remember her smile and her simple ‘thank you’ when I passed it to her.

Today is the day of her funeral. Farewell Miss Goh. Thank you for everything that you’ve ever done for me, all that you sacrificed as a teacher for your students and all that you've taught me. May the life that i lead, the lady i've become, make you proud and not let all that you’ve imparted be in vain.

first tennis lesson since sec 1...

boy that seems like a really long time ago! 11 years... just imagine that? i haven't touched a tennis racket for that long... and today i took my first step and had my first tennis lesson after so long.

it was great... wanted something simple and cheap to get started lest i decide i've lost interest or haven't a knack for it... so signed up with the singapore sports council one at yck... cos it's relatively near my workplace... and it was good... enjoyed it very much. really missed playing. met some really nice girls there too. so it was fun and enjoyable.

tomorrow i'm going to the zoo! it's been 3 years since xiang and i got together. so took leave and will be spending the day relaxing and having fun at the zoo... heehee... haven't been to the zoo for quite a while... but i think it really can't go wrong tom cos it's the company! =) looking forward to it...

alrightey, happy national day everyone!

the unexpected

this week had many twists and turns... decisions that had to be made... turmoil after the decisions... and yet ultimately God has a better plan...

His plan was so wonderful and beyond my wildest imagination or comprehension. I thank God for the path that He has led me to take and I thank Him so much for it. every now and then i find myself marvelling at how things have turned out and truly can't thank Him enough for the way the situation has ended up as.

anyway, through this trying week i thank God for my family, xiang, colleagues and friends who were there for me. i was so miserable on wed... really miserable... and just three days later i'm so much happier and filled with an inexplicable joy and gratitude. it's amazing.

today was a good day... long but good. the usual do at the market with my parents but today i had loads of groceries to carry cos mum's preparing refreshments tomorrow at church. refreshments it's called, but everyone takes it to be lunch so mum's preparing curry, fried mee tai mak and oven-baked macaroni... yumyum... came back and helped my mum deshell the 1kg worth of prawns. she's so good that our ratio of peeling was four is to one! i will improve! like now i can prepare the prawns for storage pretty fast (cutting off all the sharp pokey bits and stuff) when i use to drop them all the time! lol... getting there... figured if i wanna learn how to cook i must first learn how to clean out the stuff. so i now know how to clean out a fish, prawns, sotong (gross), chicken (not the full chicken yet... just the thighs and breast meat)... hmm... and i'm a professional bean sprouts plucker! lol! had a nice time at lunch... papa felt really loved cos i accompanied my sis for brunch i walked all the way to the beo crescent market to look for his fried dace and black beans as we were having teochew porridge for lunch. so we had such a nice time chit chatting before lunch... and enjoyed the lunch tremendously... think the fish tasted nicer to papa cos it was bought with love! *everyone say it together now... "awwwww"* lol...

anyway, tuition was good too... think i must make it a regular thing to pray for lots and lots of patience before tuition... cos then i don't get so upset when he doesn't seem to understand or keeps forgetting how to do certain problems over and over again.. so the two hours passed quickly. but it's a little stressful right now cos his CA2s are coming in about two weeks... so there's a lot to cover before that... hope it turns out ok...

then we had dinner with my aunt who's back on a short trip (she migrated to NZ)... nice dinner...

yup... all it all it was a wonderful day and i thank God for every little bit of it.

The Decision

You know how in life we have to make decisions all the time? Some are small decisions like what to wear, which path to take to the mrt, which door to stand at to wait for the mrt, to veer to the left or right when someone's in your path... decisions that u do there and then that don't really seem to affect your life a whole big deal... then again, some who have watched 'turn left turn right' might beg to differ.

but there are decisions that are really big. big enough to mean a total change in your routine, a total change of what you do, a total change of your lifestyle really. i just had to make such a decision. making the decision wasn't too difficult. it was dealing with the change that it brought on that was tough. today was arguably the hardest day i've had at work in the past one year two months and two days. i'm thankful the day is over...

i thank God for

1. good friends along the day who helped me get thru the day
2. xiang who spent the evening with me
   
3. my family... their concern throughout the day meant a lot
4. the fact that i'm going to be able to hit my bed in just a while and just sleep

if u're reading this, please say a prayer for me... that my focus will remain on Him and Him alone... that i'll have strength and courage to face what lies ahead... wisdom to deal with the situation and people around me... a love that is against human understanding to love those who i find so tough to love right now...